#3

I’m too tired of feeling. Relapsing seem to be the only distraction that’ll work for me. I planned it all, since the weather is getting colder, I can relapse on both. I feel so out of control here. When I go back home next week, I’ll eat nothing but a max 1 cup of porridge each day until the 15th of october. Maybe I’ll have some ballantine’s from time to time. I’ve been trying to get better, and I actually did get better physically, but when you’re still struggling inside it doesn’t help but make it worse. Like I said, I’m too tired, my brain hurts from thinking. I just want to write “that’s it, I can’t take it anymore.” on a paper and let the life pour out of me in the shower. I won’t do that anytime soon though.

Like yesterday, I’ll attach the pics I took today. I finished my mobile data, I’m literally addicted to watching concerts on youtube, so I had to pay for excess usage. I’m currently reading Natsume Soseki’s Michikusa. I’ll continue reading it and then sleep. Good Night.

“So, before life tears us apart

 Let death bless me with you”