Karen Carpenter

Since 2018, I've been a heavy listener of the Carpenters. I start each rainy day or Monday with "Rainy Days and Mondays", listen to their albums on my Walkman NWZ every day. Karen's silky smooth voice always touches my heart. Even though I didn’t know at the time that Karen Carpenter had to go through what I’ve been dealing with since 2019, it felt comforting, as a sister who loves and shares music with my twin brother, to see a duo like this. After reading Little Girl Blue by Randy L. Schmidt a couple of times, I felt even closer to them. Karen Carpenter felt like my own reflection; we had similar personalities and the exact same problems with ourselves; uncaring family, struggling with love life, and issues with body image...

Her story feels like a possible future for me. I'm currently dealing with a lot of heart palpitations, and I'm scared that I'll share the same fate as her. She dealt with this for 8 years, and as someone who is in her 5th year, it feels like my death is getting closer and closer. At times, I drop to such low numbers in weight and then gain it back out of fear that I might die. During the first years of my struggle, my body handled these fluctuations without any visible signs of damage. But especially this year, I can feel my heart growing weaker and weaker. I can feel everything going on inside my chest; I'm in pain with every movement. Even though I appear relatively healthy compared to other years, I can sense my body growing tired. Back to the Carpenters, I’d like to attach a snippet from my favourite song of theirs, or I’m going to be babbling about how I relate to Karen for pages and pages. May her soul rest easy. Thank you for keeping my belief in love alive...

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How I need you

Someday, all I can give you is someday

Someday, all I can offer is someday

Please say that you'll be waiting when someday comes

Promise me this and a kiss, to keep what you are

Always close to me

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