Despair2Me: The Downward Spiral

I came across The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails five years ago, and it’s been with me ever since, dragging me deeper with every listen. This is not a cheerful album. It’s a raw, unfiltered descent into depression and destruction. I’ll be breaking down my favourite tracks briefly, sharing some lyrics that have stuck with me along the way.

The whole album deals with rather dark topics: addiction, lust, suicide, depression and so on. I can't put it on the same level as The Holy Bible, since it's pretty straight forward with its lyrics and lacks musicality, unlike HB (<333). I know it's because of its genre but it doesn't change the fact that there's other albums handling the same (or similar) topics with better work.

1) Mr. Self Destruct

In the case of Mr. Self Destruct, it really overwhelms you with its musical side. It does a great job showing how addiction and self-destruction feels; repetitive, the need for more, using it as an exit, and how when we think we're in the control, it's actually the addiction (Mr. Self Destruct) that is in control.

I take you where you want to go

I give you all you need to know

I drag you down, I use you up

2) Piggy

This song is not really that relatable with its original context, but I'd like to kind of twist the lyrics to fit to my own narrative :) I personally use this song to torture myself, especially in times when I feel healed and fine, like right now.

Hey pig, piggy, pig, pig, pig

All of my fears came true

Black and blue and broken bones

You left me here, I'm all alone

My little piggy needed something new

Nothing can stop me now, 'cause I don't care anymore

Nothing can stop me now, 'cause I don't care

3) Closer

I really don't like the fact that this song is taken as like some sex song. It's about how someone uses sex as a form of escapism. Pure self-hatred and self-disgust, nothing hot. Feeling like a piece of filth that can only pollute the other person. Using that instinctual satisfaction to get away from yourself. Nature's lukewarm pleasure ;)

My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to God

You can have my isolation

You can have the hate that it brings

You can have my absence of faith

You can have my everything

4) I Do Not Want This

This song reminds me of "No Association" by Silverchair for some reason. Probably because of the part where the narrator denies the empathy given by others. "Who am I? I don't know you tell me. You seem to know everything else.", "You say you care, but do you?". Not wanting anything, even help. Hopelessness and the never-ending struggle with the lack of motivation.

You would know, wouldn't you? You extend your hand to those who suffer

To those who know what it really feels like

To those who've had a taste, like that means something

And oh, so sick I am

And maybe I don't have a choice

And maybe that is all I have

And maybe this is a cry for help

I want to know everything

I want to be everywhere

I want to fuck everyone in the world

I want to do something that matters

5) The Downward Spiral