End of the journal entries

I deleted a bunch of posts and drafts on here, and I'll be putting an end to my journal entries. Because I don't want to look back and remember these days. And no one has to waste their time reading me being an insufferable cry baby each day. If I ever feel the need to announce something, I'll make a special post for it. I apologise to anyone I may have annoyed with my complaining. I just want to get these thoughts out of my head but I'm too much of a coward to let it all out (even when I'm doing it anonymously).

I'm just feeling constant shame for being visible in this body: with this stupid ugly face, and my nonsense talking, in a world full of beautiful people. Can't stop being a headache, a bore to everyone around me. It's a pain. Waking up and looking in the mirror, trying to reassure myself that I look good enough to be seen. I imagine an impossible future, trying to find strength in it to keep hanging on.

I just go on day after day, dreaming on a lie...

I'd give everything for a warm hug right now.