Blogging

I wanted to write on this blog and stop embarrassing myself in other places. At least this way I can be on my own and avoid bothering people on social media. I'll be using this blog to organize my thoughts, write whatever I want whenever I want without being a headache to others. Anyone that is interested in my pathetic life (or just happened to click this blog's link) can willingly read it. I'm currently listening to the iconic "Live at Knebworth" as I write this. I watched the concert this morning, but I had to listen to it again.

When you're as lame as I am, you just can't stand the idea of humiliating yourself even further in the eyes of others. My existence alone is humiliating; that's why I avoid going outside, because just seeing me from the corner of their eyes might ruin someone's day. I look at others and see the goodness in them. But the thing I see in the mirror is just this disgusting creature. I'm just one of many people that feel this way; I know this isn't some original thing to talk about. Even right now, I hate myself for just writing these lines. I apologize if someone actually read these.

I won't be using Twitter or similar platforms as much anymore. I'm not going to announce it on there, because I feel like I've bothered people enough. I'll just post Manics pictures from time to time or anything related, and that'll be it. Because when others drink, they drink to have a good time with friends, maybe for social events... Of course, I'm not completely lonely; I do go out and drink with my friends a couple of times each month. But mostly, I drink alone, in my room, listening to the Manics, Suede, and The Smiths, whatever, and cry until I eventually doze off. After starting to use my phone more, this just turned into me posting pathetic tweets and messaging people random and weird stuff. They might not care; some might not see, but I can't continue doing this.

Paper isn't enough, my hands hurt, and I don't want any physical evidence of my thoughts in case I drop dead someday.

I just know that no one ever will read these, so I'm safe on here.

No one cares.