Apr 28, 2025

28042025


*

Survival instinct, yet no will to endure.

Compelled to exist without what others dare to call "life".

No safety,
No tenderness,
No choice.

Breathe and call it life.
Dragged into a system I never wished for.

Day after day, I inherit battles I never chose, battles that were never meant to be mine.

I only long to sit and watch the others compete.

*

Apr 20, 2025

Keine Lust

I’ve had this song on repeat for the past few days. The lyrics resonate with me so much, especially the bridge:


*
I don't feel like it

I don't feel like not hating myself
Don't feel like touching myself
I would feel like pleasuring myself
Don't feel like trying it
I would feel like getting undressed
Don't feel like seeing myself naked

I would feel like it with big animals
Don't feel like risking it
Don't feel like going from the snow
Don't feel like freezing

I don't feel like it
No, I don't feel like it
I don't feel like chewing anything
Because I don't feel like digesting it
Don't feel like weighing myself
Don't feel like staying fat

I would feel like it with big animals
Don't feel like risking it
Don't feel like going from the snow
Don't feel like freezing

I'll just keep lying here
And I'll count the flies again
I listlessly touch myself
And notice I've been cold for a long time already
So cold
I'm cold
So cold...

I don't feel like it.
*



I hate myself.